Amazon Reviews of Sex Toys for Men by Men That Will Make Your Eyes Roll out of Your Head

April 19th 2016

Almie Rose

Whether you call them Redpillers, pickup artists, or by their classic name, misogynists, there are vocal groups of men in the world who believe that they are owed sex simply for being alive.

It's difficult to determine if this sense of entitlement is because of our culture, or if our culture is what created this sense of entitlement. Perhaps this is why there exists an entire industry of sex toys — for men.

While straight men look for ways to make sex even easier for themselves, one can't help but notice that with this innovation comes a sense of entitlement from those who use these products, which is especially apparent in reviews of said products on Amazon.

To be clear, there's nothing shameful about using sex toys. What's shameful here is the attitude, which speaks volumes about sex, relationships, and women in general.

Stoya Fleshlight


"I have been in a committed long term relationship and as the years have gone by our sex life is becoming less and less frequent. She has health issues, takes medication, and doesn’t have the drive she use to have.

Instead of me doing something stupid like cheating, I have been able to take my need for sex back into my control with the fleshlight. This toy feels as close to the real thing as I have ever encountered, and I ALMOST prefer it. It is an excellent supplement and if any one of you gentlemen has been on the fence about this device, I can assure you it is worth the money, it pays for itself if you were to compare it to the price of the alternative in situations like mine. Short of finding another mate, this does the trick." — sf_trippin, 4 out of 5 stars.

Doc Johnson Sasha Grey - UltraSKYN - Pocket Pussy

"Honestly it would be a lot better if it had a hole on The other side. I can't even fit half of me before hitting the end. I made a small incision to allow me to squeeze thru and it made it a lot better. If it had come even with a small hole I could destroy I would of given this 5-Stars for the price. Though I will say this still cheaper than a prostitute."Curran, 3 out of 5 stars.

"I enjoyed Sasha Grey while it worked, but it developed a tear after just a few weeks and eventually the tear turned into a big rip. Not sure it's the best toy of its kind for those who are well-endowed. It's too bad, because I really wanted this to work out long-term."Cigar, 3 out of 5 stars.

"Its [sic] too small this is built specifically for non-pussy getters. Every reviewer who gave a 5 Stars rating and saying it's the 'BEST' toy ever are really tiny. It doesn't feel real and too tight feels more like a BJ than Pussy. 3 stars cuz of BJ feeling. A Pussy doesn't suck Dick it just feels."John, 3 out of 5 stars.

Paloqueth 3d Realistic Vagina for Men

sex toy next to real woman

"[...] For me, this was not a good toy. It lacked stimulation and suction and was just too soft."extreme, 2 out of 5 stars.

"Vibration would have been nice."Tim Bird, 3 out of 5 stars.

"It smells like rubber. Also do not try licking it because it also tastes like rubber."John, 3 out of 5 stars.

XISE Real Sex Doll 3D

sex doll torso only

"It looks like it has 36DD breast but they are not. I believe the model was Chinese but this is the torso of a 10 year old with B cup breast. It is NOT a TRUE LIFE-SIZE it is a REDUCE [sic] SCALE. It does feel soft like skin, so long as you keep a powder applied. Depth for both holes is about 6 inches. I am 8 inches and can only push through to 7 inches and advise those of equal or greater size NOT to buy this product expecting to go 'balls deep' and grind."Phil, 3 out of 5 stars.

"The pictures clearly show a white torso. There were no color options at check out. It arrived today, but was the body of a black woman. I have nothing against color, but wanted white. I'm really disappointed. Amazon could not exchange, but will do a refund."Apt Manager, 1 out of 5 stars.

"crap. complete crap."suFicMidLal, 1 out of 5 stars.

Sexbaby Silicone Realistic Mouth with Tongue and Teeth

silicone mouth sex toy

"WOW. I'm addicting to using this thing it is so amazing, I'm literally getting blow jobs every morning, night and when I get home from work. So realistic and amazing orgasm every time way better than my hand. The tongue really makes this great. I ripped the teeth out because I thought it was weird." Mark Hanson, 5 out of 5 stars.

"NOT GOOD FOR DIC** ABOVE 6 inches!!! THIS THING CANT HANDLE IT"Nick, 3 out of 5 stars.

"[...] What's missing from what makes it a real BJ is that there's no constant tongue movement, you are not able to push against the cheek due to limited space, there's no suction and no contractions of the throat muscles (you can try to mimic this by hand squeezing movements from the exterior). Basically it mimics the real thing if the person giving the BJ is not trying/being submissive or passed out/asleep when you try to stick it in."Vincent, 4 out of 5 stars.