This Hilarious Viral Tweet Nails The Absurdity of What Not to Wear Lists

February 5th 2016

Lucy Tiven

Twitter user Molly Manglewood just nailed the problem with "what not to wear" lists in a hilarious tweet that went viral on Friday. The writer and criminology graduate cleverly points out the absurdity of policing women's bodies by age, shape, or anything else.

Approaching your dirty thirties? It might be time to toss out all those cursed amulets, she explains. "Booty shorts with military secrets on the butt" might fly in your twenties, but once you hit thirty it just isn't a good look.

These lists are posted ad nauseam by fashion blogs and are not limited to age. In 2015, FashionLady warned "pear shaped" women to stay clear of numerous types of pants and all belts.

WhoWhatWear published a list of no-nos for 30s ladies in 2014 that included low-rise jeans, leggings, and advised substituting sophisticated pointed flats for ballet flats or saddle shoes.

leggings flats

"There are certain shoe styles completely inappropriate for women in their 30s to wear; saddle shoes and flat Mary Janes fall on the list," Meghan Blalock wrote. "They just look a bit immature and creepy on women past a certain age — instead, reach for a sleek pair of slip-on flats."

You know what's really immature? Loafers that are actually just dead seagulls you jammed your feet into.