Justice

This Woman's Post-Breakup Message of Self-Love Is Going Viral

February 1st 2016

By:
Taylor Bell

It's not always easy being in a relationship, especially if that relationship is a toxic one. But for almost two years, that was the reality for one young woman in Alabama. In a powerful letter to her ex-boyfriend on Facebook, Brittaney Lynn Shane reveals the harrowing details of her emotionally abusive relationship and how she moved on, Mashable reports

Shane originally posted the empowering letter in December 2015 and has since received more than 350,000 likes and 36,000 shares on Facebook.

You always told me I didn't look good with long hair and that you preferred girls with short hair. So I kept my hair...

Posted by Brittaney Lynn Shane on Friday, December 4, 2015


It's no secret that those in a relationship make compromises for the sake of the other. But Shane went to extraordinary lengths to please her ex-boyfriend.

In the post, Shane recounts the numerous times she tried to fulfill every desire of her ex-boyfriend, from dying her hair, to not wearing makeup and even removing her beloved piercings. But all this was to no avail. He boyfriend continued to "point out every single flaw" until Shane felt she completely stripped of all her individuality and confidence.

"You always told me I didn't look good with long hair and that you preferred girls with short hair. So I kept my hair cut above my shoulders at all times. You laughed at me and told me I looked ridiculous when I dyed my hair red when we were together. So a week later I dyed it back blonde. You would always point out if I was wearing to much makeup. (Winged eyeliner and mascara most of the time) So I just stopped wearing it. You told me tattoos and piercings were tacky and ugly.

And would try to take out my belly button ring every time you saw it. So I took out my piercings and didn't get any more tattoos. You pointed out my stretch marks every chance you got. So I did my best to keep them hidden. You pointed out every time I looked like I had gained weight. So I started eating less every day. You pointed out every single flaw I had. So I lost every bit of confidence I had.

Despite her attempts to please her boyfriend, Shane was convinced that she would never be good enough. In her mind, her ex-boyfriend was "out of her league" and she was the unworthy one. These feelings would only intensify after ex-boyfriend left her for another woman, a woman younger and "prettier" than Shane.

Brittaney Lynn Shane

But it wasn't until recently that Shane was empowered with a new perspective about who was really to blame for her failed relationship.

"But finally I started to see the truth. You weren't out of my league. I was out of yours. I wasn't the one who wasn't good enough for you. You were the one who wasn't good enough for me. You couldn't accept me for who I was. When I took you the way you were. Your many many many flaws and everything else that was there. The only time I ever asked you to change was when I asked you to show me you actually cared about me. Which you never did.

After this revelation Shane's confidence returned to her and her ex-boyfriend's perception suddenly had no power over her anymore. And almost as a defiant move to her ex-boyfriend, Shane boasted about living the way her boyfriend never wanted her to be.

"So now here I am a few months later. My hair is past my shoulders. My hair is bright red. I've got a new tattoo. New piercings. Started wearing makeup again. I eat whatever I want whenever I want and weigh 135 pounds. I still have my stretch marks. And I've finally gotten my confidence back."

A beautiful story that was on the verge of not being told. Shane admits that she was hesitant about opening up about her past relationship because she felt "humiliated" for letting herself become so "vulnerable because of one guy," something that she never vowed to let happen.

But people are happy that she did.

 Brittaney Lynn Shane

 Brittaney Lynn Shane

Brittaney Lynn Shane

Shane originally posted the letter in December but has since received more than 350,000 likes and 36,000 shares on Facebook.

ATTN: contacted Shane but did not receive a response in time for publication.