Justice

This Brave Woman Shared Her Chilling Story Moments After She Got Raped

One woman will not let her sexual assault experience defeat her.

New York activist Amber Amour believes that people should come forward anytime they experience sexual assault, and that's exactly what she did. 

Amour was on tour in Cape Town, South Africa promoting her "Stop Rape. Educate." campaign when she was allegedly raped by a man she met on tour. Moments after the assault, Amber Amour posted the details of her alleged sexual assault to Instagram.

 

It was only a few minutes ago but sometimes these things happen so fast it's hard to remember all the details.... I've been sick for the past 2 days and today was my first day out. I went back to my old hostel to leave a note for a friend, Nick. There was another guy there, Shakir, who was desperately trying to get with me. I kissed him once but he seemed drunk so I told him it was bad timing, I had already met someone. Before heading out, I went upstairs to say hi to one more friend, Clyde from the states. Shakir followed me upstairs and said he was going to take a shower. He invited me to join. I said yes because the water at my current hostel is pretty cold and after 2 days of being sick, I just really wanted a hot shower. As soon as I got in the bathroom, he forced me to my knees. I said "stop!" but he just got more violent. He lifted me up and put his penis in my vagina. I asked him to stop, again, as I began to cry. When he shoved it in my ass, that's when I passed out. I woke up a few minutes later and saw him trying to creep out the door. When he saw that I was awake, he came back to finish me off in the shower. I have all those fucked up feelings that we get after rape...shame, disgust, suffering. I'm here, alone, and any DNA has been wiped away in the shower. The South African police will just roll their eyes when I walk in. Feeling sicker than ever now. Needless today, I'm going to disappear for a bit. Just need to enjoy the freaking sun and call my friends and family in the states. Love you guys. Thank you for always being there for me. All the more reason to continue @stoprapeeducate but not today. Today, I need rest. #StopRapeEducate

A photo posted by Amber Amour (@ambertheactivist) on

"I immediately knew that I couldn't keep what happened a secret," Amour explained to Marie Claire UK. "Here, I was telling survivors every single day that they should speak up...I knew that I had to practice what I preached. So the first thing I did was take a picture and write a post, describing what happened. It was almost an intuitive thing. I was still in the bathroom — in the crime scene. I don't think that I'd stood up. I Just typed and typed."

But not everyone was happy with her decision to post the details of her ordeal on social media. Some left victim-blaming comments on the post. After people found out that Amour willingly accepted an invitation to hop in the shower with the same man who raped her and blogged about it, sympathy for Armour quickly dried up.

Instagram comment on Amber Amour

instagram comment for Amber Amour

For those blaming her for the incident, Amour had a message. In a follow-up Instagram post she faced critics head on and underscored that rape — no matter what the circumstances — is never okay.

"For those who wish to BLAME ME or any other survivor out there, I want you to know that you are the very reason that I am so brutally honest. I could have hidden details. I could have kept some info to myself, but NO. You need to know the truth and to see the reality of the situation. No matter what a person does, it is not an invitation for rape. It doesn't matter if I kissed him. It doesn't matter if he was drunk. It doesn't matter if I said yes to a shower. I never said he could get violent with me. I never said he could make me bleed. I never said he could rape me. But still, that's how the scene went down.

Shortly after the assault, Amour contacted the U.S. Embassy in South Africa and notified the South African police. According to Amour's post, both the U.S. Embassy and the South African police were supportive and sought to arrest the man who allegedly assaulted Amour.

Related: What Happened When Kesha Reported Her Sexual Assault

Since then Amour has been trying to stay positive and empower others. Just one month after being assaulted in South Africa, Amour posted a picture of herself sitting naked in a body of water as a statement that nudity doesn't equate to consent, alluding to the night of her sexual assault in the shower.

 

Since I got raped last month, I've been spending more time naked in public with strangers. (Yes, you heard that right!) ? Not only do I enjoy the freedom I feel being nude in nature, but it's also to prove the point that nudity does not equate to sex or rape. I skinny dipped in a few waterfalls and swam naked at night in the Indian Ocean. I was with men & women from different backgrounds and ages and GUESS WHAT? I didn't get raped. ? This proves the point that clothing/nudity do not cause rape, only rapists do!! The man who attacked me would have done so regardless. I didn't even take my clothes off to take the shower, he destroyed them leaving them bloodied. ? So to answer the question "What kind of woman takes a shower with a guy who is not her boyfriend?" (Stop assuming I'm straight, btw.) The answer is I DO! I'm a liberated, body positive naturist. If I want to swim or shower with a stranger, that's exactly what I'll do! Most people are not rapists. Most people have self control. I'm not putting myself in "dangerous situations" I'm being the change I wish to see in the world: a world where women are safe and free to live how they please! By exposing the female body in a non-sexual way, we systematically desexualize it. So, I'm gonna keep rocking birthday suit which reminds me: My birthday is in 3 days!! ? Photo by @nateynukez ??????????????? #AmberAmour #AmberTheActivist #nature #nudism #model #modeling #feminism #feminist #yesallwomen #humanrights #freethefuckingnipple #girlswithdreads #CreatingConsentCulture #bodypositive #bodypositivity #effyourbeautystandards #birthdaysuit #girlpower #goddess #naturelovers #naturism #wildwoman #skinnydipping #freedom #StopRapeEducate

A photo posted by Amber Amour (@ambertheactivist) on

"Since I got raped last month, I've been spending more time naked in public with strangers. (Yes you heard that right)", Amour said in an Instagram post. "Not only do I enjoy the freedom I feel being nude in nature, but it's also to prove the point that nudity does not equate to sex or rape. I skinny dipped in a few waterfalls and swam naked at night in the Indian Ocean. I was with men & women from different backgrounds and ages and GUESS WHAT? I didn't get raped. This proves the point that clothing/nudity do not cause rape, only rapists do!! The man who attacked me would have done so regardless. I didn't even take my clothes off to take the shower, he destroyed them leaving them bloodied."

She also debunked her critics' idea that she somehow brought the assault upon herself, since she so easily showered with and trusted a man she hardly knew.

"Most people have self control," she wrote. "I'm not putting myself in 'dangerous situations' I'm being the change I wish to see in the world: a world where women are safe and free to live how they please! By exposing the female body in a non-sexual way, we systematically desexualize it."

Related: Comedian Beth Stelling Shares The Truth About Abusive Relationships

In an interview with Marie Claire UK Amour revealed her history experiencing sexual assault, which began when she was 12. Then it happened again when she was 24 after her roommate assaulted her. It was that incident that Amour decided to start the campaign "Stop Rape. Educate."

One out of six women have been victims of sexual assault and 17.7 million women have been victims of attempted or completed rape, according to Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). Many women who are survivors of sexual assault often feel hesitant to speak out, but Amour says doing so is the best thing that women who have experienced similar things can do.

"That's why speaking out is one of the best ways to fight back," Amour told Marie Claire UK. "No man out there wants the reputation of being a rapist. And when we start telling each other about what has happened to us, be it face-to-face, or over the phone or on social media — it creates a sense of shame. But this time it's placed on those who are actually at fault. And that's the way it should be."