Justice

Chrissy Teigen: Never Ask a Woman When She's Having Kids

September 17th 2015

By:
Laura Donovan

Body positive celebrity and model Chrissy Teigen perfectly explained why it is impolite to ask a woman when she is having kids during an appearance on Tyra Banks' new show "FABLife."

While it's true that a lot of people do not want children and feel uncomfortable with this type of personal inquiry, Teigen pointed out that such a question can make women with conception troubles feel bad.

"Anytime somebody asks me if I'm going to have kids, I'm like, 'One day, you're going to ask that to the wrong girl who's really struggling, and it's going to be really hurtful to them,'" she said. "And I hate that. So, I hate it. Stop asking me!"


Teigen noted that a lot of people ask when she and husband John Legend will start a family. She added that they have seen fertility specialists before and that it is a shame that there is a stigma around conception. Many people choose to be silent on the issue, Teigan explained.

"I will say, just two years into being married, the questions come from all over," she said.

"It's kind of crazy. I can't imagine being that nosy to be like, 'So, when are the kids coming?' Because who knows what somebody is going through? Who knows if somebody is struggling to have children? I will say honestly, John and I were having trouble. We would have had kids five, six years ago if it happened... It's been a process. We've seen fertility doctors. And then once you open up about all of those things to other people, you start learning that a lot of other people in your life are seeing these people. And they have this shame about it."

According to national infertility association Resolve, more than 10 percent of women have used fertility services—a common struggle that many women face.

Going public about pregnancy struggles

Miscarriages are another difficulty women can face during pregnancy. Up to 20 percent of pregnancies can end in miscarriages, and there is also a stigma surrounding miscarriages in our culture.

During the summer, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg drew attention to this issue by announcing his wife's pregnancy, which was bittersweet because she had previously had three miscarriages.

"You feel so hopeful when you learn you're going to have a child," he wrote on Facebook. "You start imagining who they'll become and dreaming of hopes for their future. You start making plans, and then they're gone. It's a lonely experience. Most people don't discuss miscarriages because you worry your problems will distance you or reflect upon you -- as if you're defective or did something to cause this. So you struggle on your own."

Zuckerberg learned through conversations with friends that this happens a lot.

"When we started talking to our friends, we realized how frequently this happened -- that many people we knew had similar issues and that nearly all had healthy children after all," he wrote. "We hope that sharing our experience will give more people the same hope we felt and will help more people feel comfortable sharing their stories as well. Our good news is that our pregnancy is now far enough along that the risk of loss is very low and we are very hopeful."