Justice

Honest Comic Perfectly Nails This Way Too Common Relationship Struggle

A French illustrator who goes by "Emma" has found a comic of hers from May go viral over the summer for its depiction of household chores.

you should have asked

The Guardian posted a translated version on May 26, where it continues to gain traction.

"You should've asked."

The comic, titled "You Should've Asked," has gotten praise mostly from women who say it nailed a struggle they often face with their significant others over household chores. One woman wrote on Facebook, "every time I talk to my man about household chores, it is the same answer 'ask me' ... I finally understand why it annoys me so much to ask!"

The long comic starts with a tired mom and wife making a mess in the kitchen trying to balance watching their kids while making dinner. Her male partner asks, "what did you do?!" to which she responds, "What do you mean what did I do? I did EVERYTHING, that's what I did!"

The man then says:

you should have asked

The narrator of the comic then steps in and explains why that moment "said a lot about how things get organized at stage in our lives."

She then breaks it down:

you should have asked

But, as she notes, planning and organizing amounts into a full-time job of its own:

you should have asked

you should have asked

 

you should have asked

Basically, it comes down to women wishing they didn't have to ask their partners to ask; that they would also be aware of the mental load of keeping track of what needs to be done in a household, and would help share the work.

you should have asked

Women would feel like they had support, less arguments would occur, and it would feel like a partnership of equals, instead of one partner (who is usually the woman) having to take on the majority of the household work.

This is not to say that this happens in every home. There are men who are stay-at-home dads. There are men who lead the chores. There are also same-sex couples in which there are no men, or there are no women.

But the comic, though it doesn't speak for all couples, is based on a lot of truths.

The Wall Street Journal reported in 2015 on a survey conducted by LeanIn.Org and McKinsey & Co. about the disparity of household chores between men and women. They found, "even in households where women work outside the home, and have similar career demands as their husbands, 41 percent of women report doing more child care and 30 percent report doing more chores than their husband. And while younger couples split household chores more evenly, women under 30 still do most of the child care."

The Los Angeles Times, reporting on a different study, found "married mothers do more than three times as much cooking, cleaning and laundry than married fathers."

ATTN: also reported on a survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics that showed how American men and women split their time on household activities:

Bureau of Labor Statistics Chart on Housework

In summation, when it comes to household responsibilities, don't ask — just do it.

Read Emma's full comic here.