T.I.'s Defense for Cheating on His Wife Shows a Common Form of Male Entitlement

June 1st 2017

Danielle DeCourcey

Rapper T.I. and former R&B singer Tiny had a confrontation about cheating in their marriage, revealing a common form of male entitlement.

On Monday's episode of "Family Hustle," Clifford "T.I." Harris and Tameka "Tiny" Harris exchange accusations of infidelity over dinner. As the argument gets heated, T.I. interrupts Tiny and says, "I spent millions on you, what the [bleep] is you saying?" 

She responds by saying, "I've done plenty for you I ain't done [bleep] for him, what the [bleep] is you saying?" 

In the ensuing Twitter debate, users focused on T.I.'s mention of the millions of dollars he spent on Tiny.

T.I.'s mention of money seemed to imply that Tiny owed him unquestioning loyalty, even though she alleges that he cheated on her with a former employee. However, as Twitter users pointed out, men are not entitled to cheat on women or control them simply because they pay for things. 





In a piece for Lifehack, relationship and dating author Nancy Nichols warns that men who spend a lot money on women may think they're "buying" them. 

"It’s normal for men and women to want to date and marry a mate who is reasonably attractive and financially stable," she wrote. "However, some men flash cash to charm women during the courtship phase and once the relationship is cemented, they will use money to exert power and control over the woman."

On the show T.I. also insists that Tiny stays home and take care of the children, rather than pursuing her career.

In a previous episode T.I. implied that Tiny could not be a good mother to their kids if she went on a reunion tour with Xscape, the multi-platinum R&B group that Tiny originally came to fame through in the late 90s. He asks, "If I'm out working and you out working, who's going to be here with them?"



When Tiny says she's going to take their youngest baby to work with her (on tour) like other entertainers who are mothers, T.I. becomes angry and starts shouting "no." 

"Well then you need to stay here, that's a sacrifice you make as a parent," he says in the clip. During the argument, he makes no offer to be the one to stay home—assuming the childcare responsibility to be Tiny's alone. 

Sometimes men don't need to spend millions to feel entitled to women's time, energy and affections. Sometimes it just takes the purchase of a movie ticket.

In May, a man in Austin, Texas filed a lawsuit against a woman he went on a date with, because she texted during a movie. Brandon Vezmar filed a lawsuit in small clams court for $17.31 against a woman who he said refused to stop texting in "Guardians of the Galaxy." He said that because she was rude and didn't pay attention, she owes him the money he spent.




The lawsuit started a debate about male entitlement. 





Cord Jefferson wrote a piece for The Guardian about his realizations about his own male entitlement. 

"It should go without saying that women aren't carnival prizes to be won. But just like with lots of things that should go without saying, it needs to be said, as there still seems to be some debate as to whether women are autonomous humans with the right to give as much or as little of themselves to people as they want. It should go without saying that there's no outside arbiter of who "deserves" which woman, or of what one "deserves" to receive from a woman, because women get to decide for themselves. Indeed, it should go without saying, and yet ...Beware bros trying to inform you what they 'deserve.'"

RELATED: T.I. Warns Against Getting 'Bamboozled' by Trump